I swear that my neighbours are the only reason this blog is still alive. Now I freely admit that I lie and make shit up all the time; it’s a side effect of writers block but you can’t make this stuff up.

I went to the office today and put in some time to tidy a few things up. I come home, press the button and wait for the elevator. It’s an old building and the elevator isn’t smart enough to deliver someone to the basement before coming back up for me. It just stops when the button is pushed and I’ve taken to getting on ’cause at least I’m on right?

Sure enough, there’s a woman/girl on her way to the basement. I say woman/girl because she was Asian, so maybe she was 16 or maybe she was 36 I really can’t tell. Now I like to put the other humans at ease so I look at her and say “Well, I guess I’m going for a ride…” She looks at me and smiles but doesn’t say anything. I sorta smile and look at the buttons to see if this elevator is going to move or not.

I sense that she is still looking at me. I look at her again and she is indeed, still looking at me but now very intently. I smile as the elevator leaves and look away. *Spidey senses start to tingle* “She’s not still looking at me is she?” I glance at her and she’s now staring, with a huge grin and nodding her head as if she’s sending me mental transmissions or agreeing with some conversation we’re having. Thing is, we’re not having a conversation or at least not one that I’m a part of. An awkward moment (for me anyway) ensued and then the door opened an she went to the laundry.

Keep in mind this all took place in the time it took to go from the lobby to the basement. I’d have a month of material if this had been a longer ride.

“Well that was weird…” I go up to my apartment and stumble over some boxes that are meant for storage. Cursing, I decide to take them down to my locker. Guess who greets me at the elevator when I get to the basement? Yeah, it was her.

Her jaw drops as the door opens, probably because all her unmentionables were on top of her basket of clothes. She didn’t seem like the type to have that many gstrings…

So I have decided to embrace the other humans in my building and engage them solely for the material. It’s a goldmine I tell ya’